spoopyphilia:

bloodyoathmate:

My mum’s friends at work are having a baby and their last name is watts so they were trying work out a name for it, i suggested 60 and they both looked confused so i said maybe 20 would suit them better 

image

(via heartshapedwatermelons)



jinglefastersherlock:

my cousin has twin sons named flynn and ryder and i said “your sons names are flynn…and ryder…?” thinking it was just a funny coincidence and she looked at me kind of ashamed and whispered “i just really like tangled”

(Source: bbcfreeman, via heartshapedwatermelons)




nickcarragay:

isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like “I don’t know how to hold a pencil”

(via heartshapedwatermelons)





In 1937 two women caused a car accident by wearing shorts in public for the first time

In 1937 a careless driver caused an accident when he took his eyes off the road to ogle 2 women wearing shorts in public for the first time.

fucking thank you


In 1937 two women caused a car accident by wearing shorts in public for the first time

In 1937 a careless driver caused an accident when he took his eyes off the road to ogle 2 women wearing shorts in public for the first time.

fucking thank you

(Source: stability, via heartshapedwatermelons)


accordingtodevin:

Pretty sure that’s how it went down. There’s no other explanation to why there are so many of them.

(via heartshapedwatermelons)


"I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has."

"Winter’s a good time to stay in and cuddle, but put me in summer and I’ll be a…. happy snowman!"

(Source: hansideburns, via cantplayfornuts)


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